nautilus shell

The simplest truths are the hardest ones to learn
like, the grass is greener
I know because I jogged down a wide-angle turn
on the street parallel to your house
with a bookcase in my trunk
that I made to resemble a book you had read
with me but a passing thought in your head
and I recalled something that david had said
"stay on the surface of you"
and something that brother had uttered as well
that surrounded my doubt like a nautilus' shell
"gasp for the surface of you"
which was all I had wanted to yell (with my mouth)
which was all that I left in my wake
yet you still have a way of holding me today
albeit coldly
like my hat has been in your pocket
all the while outside your door (with wet hair)
but you’ve locked it
remember this, I drove away and I never quit filling that bookcase
little sister

still, I’ll dream some nights about you
but I’ll wake from those dreams without you
it’s not that I want to woo you back here
using the same charm from way back when
i just want the same shred of decency
that you had the moment you don’t remember meeting me
so I can explain what you didn’t to some bloke who follows
and keep him from scraping his chin on your hollows

I’ll say
hey kid…listen
(and I’ll pause there till I get his full attention)
watch the clock like I do
but only if you’re not counting on it to save you
only if you’ve got a headwind against you
for that’s the only way to get lift
the only way to utilize foil
the only way to skirt her two-minute’s traffic
in a close-hauled tack, in your tiny boat
(I thought I lost it but I just sailed past it)
the only way to keep sight of her vessel
is to not slow down

So don't slow down, but stay your course
Stay out of debt
Don’t fear remorse
Get a job
Study something
Love Jesus
Love your family
Love the world
Get out in it
Way the fuck out in it
Get small
Get reall small
And plant a tree
Plant a tree beside a river
But don’t be foolish
Don’t plant beside the river that brought her near to me
For as with any sailor I’ve too held sheets until they burn
And I know the simplest truths are the hardest ones to learn